Maybe I could be taken through the teller window and placed into some wallet of a guy that is heading to the local strip join. I could sit on the table enjoying the women of the pole until the right one comes by, then I could be aggressively shoved into a g-string or guarder belt where I could feel the soft skin of a women trying to feed 3 kids at home. As I am counted with 50 other ones that were collected throughout the night and I can sit and hope she will tuck me, the special one, into the bra so I could get a cheap feel of her breast. This could be that skanky dream I have been looking for now that I write this. I could be lucky enough to be spent at the local grocery store in exchange for 2 bottles of baby food.

Once I am in the cash drawer awaiting for a new owner I could be telling the other dollar bills about the night I had with the stripper. After a while perhaps a senior citizen will take me away in a crocheted purse and I can change my smell from the hours of the night to moth balls or sanitizer. Finally I would feel clean again until I am taken out and handed to a Wal-Mart cashier for a tube of denture cream along with a couple of my recent close friends I have gotten to know along the journey. Once into the drawer I can start living it up again till the ex-baby boomer gets me as change and I am headed to CA for a convention about going green. There I can smell the medically dispensed marijuana in the air as the crowd swarms in to find that no other state is going green as fast as them and how disappointed they are.

I am then brought to a vegan restaurant and placed as a tip but then left in the dark for several minutes after a rolling blackout has hit the restaurant. Once the lights come back on the waiter puts me into his pocket where I get a whiff of the scent of hell. I come to the conclusion quick that I am hanging with a gentlemen that prefers men to women. As he gets off work for the night I am stuck in his wallet heading to the airport heading towards NYC. Yes! I get to do some traveling and as we touch down in NYC I am forgotten in his wallet at the rental car counter.

I know I will return to him but as I think this the gentleman behind the counter retrieves me from the wallet and I am placed inside of his. This guy has got to show me some excitement, after all this is NYC. I quickly learn the of dice in an alley that evening after he gets off shift. It’s me and a gang of gamblers trying to get a quick buck. Quickly I am earned by a man named Joe and we are off to his apartment. I am living it up on the 3rd floor of a lower housing development only to learn I won’t be staying for long. His oldest son takes me from the folded up wad of cash I was relaxing inside of and quickly traded at the local store for a pack or gum.

Once in the cash drawer again I spend hours listening to words I don’t know. For the next fews hours i pretend I am from a country not on this side of the world till a woman picks me up and we are off to a cab. She steps in and i hear some amusement ride sounds and see some bright lights. Holy SHIT! I am in the Cash Cab! Well at least only temporarily as this woman gets the first three answers wrong and we are kicked out one block later. As she gets out with a sniffle and a tear some really fast dude that should be playing pro running back grabs me and the contents of her purse and race down the sidewalk. We end up hiding out in some Korean restaurant and wait for the heat to cool. Finally, I can relax as this guy is going no where fast.

I am again left as a tip on the table but this time the Jewish waiter picks my up and puts me in his pocket. I feel sad inside, and completely torn apart. I now know I will never be spent again, but only counted and counted till the tests of time.

That’s my thought of what it would be like to be a dollar bill. There is so many ways you could live your life as money. I tried to think of one way but it may not be the one you would choose. Till the next blog, happy reading!