It seems that sleeping for only 4-5 hours every night for months eventually catches up to you. This morning being no exception, I am tired. I know you are reading this and wondering how it is possible for someone like myself to need more than 1-2 hours per night, and I assure you that I am really fucking tired. I mean sleepy, not sick and tired of repeating something.
So how do I know I am tired and not grumpy? I get this feeling of frustration and droopy eyes for the first hour or so. Then I drink coffee or tea and the same result happens. Actually I drag ass around the house until I can think of something miserable I can write on 2kgsand if I can’t write anything I usually just curl up in a ball somewhere in the kitchen and cry. If that doesn’t work I surf for pornography and new brake pads for my car on Amazon. If all else fails I try to watch Nova until I can fall back asleep only to find out I can’t fall back asleep. I am not proud that I can’t sleep.
Could it be my diet? Netflix has been showing me a lot of documentaries about my diet lately. Perhaps it’s cancer from all the red meat I eat? Nah, cant be, I am too young and handsome for cancer. There is little doubt even cancer has a heart for guys like me. I suppose it could be diabetes. I did feel my feet get a little numb this one time. Sometimes if I drink the night before I sleep like a champ, but I don’t necessarily enjoying drinking to sleep. Let’s face it, we enjoying drinking to get drunk and say stupid things we have to apologize for later.
Even writing this is actually making me more tired. I have tried surfing pornography while writing this and it’s not helping either. I should update my Facebook to something like “I am so tired, FML”, but I don’t want to look like a homosexual using a term like FML. The fact that I would even abbreviate “Fuck My Life” makes me uncomfortable just being around myself. I can only imagine this is how Rick Perry feels right now after learning that his ad sucks and he is a homosexual hater. Thinking about that, you might even think I am a homosexual hater because of my jokes. I want to ensure you that I am not. They are fun to make, and I make jokes about straight people as well.
Did I tell anyone that I was tired while writing this? Before you say,”Yes asshole, go to bed already.” I should probably say your words can’t hurt me. Divorce hurts me, and even then, not much. Words are child’s play. So before you write me off, I will have a coffee and then I expect to do some writing here on this blog. Not because I want to, but because I know this blog is going to make me rich. Genius doesn’t come cheap, right?