Go ahead and do it! You are now free of the possible phone calls from the Vatican at Midnight while star gazing as of today when you even mumble that you believe in UFO’s or those pesky green Martians that continually probe our nation’s finest in areas that are less than desirable. So as of today I am going to tell everyone that I believe in aliens and I am going right to the nearest church to tell them I do as well. I will proceed to start drawing UFO pictures in the pews during the sermon and leave them everywhere. I mean hell, it’s a celebration now! I think the first picture I color will be my Priest holding my hand (with adult supervision of course) and me holding a Martian’s hand like a little family. Galileo and those persecuted in the past for thinking the sun was the center to today in which I have the freedom to think carbon actually inspired life elsewhere on a possible habitable planet in another galaxy. All I can say is damn am I so lucky to live in a free society where church is so forgiving.

So I am agnostic, and I found this revelation stunning that it would make even the Today Show with the off-beat and queer conversational pieces they provide metro America. I just wanted to drop everything and call the Pope and ask if everything was OK. I mean is it possible they found another book in the Bible where one of the Apostles were abducted, but sent back with an old wooden anal probe in his ass? This would be huge to have the Bible slightly bigger with an intriguing story like this! Go right from Psalms to Aliens? I bet if they threw this into that luscious book of stories it would go for some serious dollars (mostly because of the weakened dollar). I am actually surprised someone hasn’t come up with something to juice the Bible up to get profits going. I don’t think to date that book has made much money actually. If someone just stepped up to the plate like Lil Jon or Jessica Simpson and added like 26mm rims to it or a book on Sean Jean or maybe the Tomb of Maybelline that thing would really take off.

Ok enough about the off topic stuff. Let’s get onto the relevancy of church announcements like this. Honestly, did someone out there need this and finally when they heard the news just felt the weight of the world lifted off their shoulders? Did someone riding the subway in downtown Manhattan just shit themselves in excitement that they could come out of the closest about loving aliens? This is one of the most ridiculous news items in months. Maybe I am missing the point of it all and some of you find people will help enlighten me. Last time I checked I have a life and the freedom to believe in what I want to in the 21st century. Are there still people wandering around like robots saying, “Shhh, don’t let the Pope hear that!” This is ludicrous that someone would need to hear something like its OK to believe in life from other planets. I mean you already believe in something that doesn’t exist so at least so at least you fair the same odds as believing in something that most likely exist in the stars.

The difference between aliens and God is more people have possibly seen aliens than God unless God is referenced as a figment of life altering events. I agree that thousands of years ago this would have been something huge and needed to be announced on a global level today, but honestly after homosexuals appeared in society in droves and everyone embraced them I could care less about whatever else you might have to surprise me with. This world has no taboo for us anymore, and for the most part we can thank the porn industry for that. This is just not edgy stuff anymore and the church should just do what they do best, keep predicting the wrong date for the end of the world and pray. (And you guys thought I would say the kid joke)