Wikipedia and I need to have a talk. Well, maybe a write off or something. If I could write something to Wikipedia as a whole it would be something like this:

Dear Wikipedia,

You’re special in many ways, but you’re not complete. You are missing me. I know, I know…I am not a rockstar, a pornstar, a mass murderer, Hollywood filmstar, heck I am not even a kid’s show host. I only ask that one day you consider me as a page. I am just a normal guy. I have some children, and I have some websites. I haven’t done anything too special in my life but I can make people smile and laugh. You have around 1.8Mil pages in yourself, and what would be one more about me? Perhaps you could just say a couple things about me like I am handsome, or I am above average in my IQ. I yearn for you to write about me and my life.

Signed,
Desperately seeking Attention

Obviously, because of my previous attempts to get into Wikipedia and being deleted over and over again then being threatened of banishment like a restraining order on a pedophile with Big W as the victim I do rest in my attempts for now. I don’t know if anyone else has had this happen with Wikipedia. Oh yes my friends, just try to enter something crazy into Wikipedia like yourself or a link to another site. You will feel the almighty thunderous cackles and cries of W before your eyes with a note from the anonymous editor saying,”I am watching you.” To me it seems creepy. After my experience I felt dirty, and I took 3 showers. Still to this day I feel like a toolbag just looking at the site knowing what could have been, a picture of me up in electrons across my 19″ monitor.

It’s simply amazing how anal an editor there could be. I even explained back at one point when I got detention from them for adding one of my informative sites that contributed to the article, that I was trying to increase the information because I was a well-informed individual that has practically written a book on the subject at hand. I was reprimanded because that site sold merchandise that funded the server it sits on. That was it for me. I never returned, not even a little. Well ok, a little but only to see if they added a page about me yet.

In case Wikipedia stops by to read this article (which I am sure they will) I should probably put some highlights about me in this. My name is Adam Mulholland, I am 30 (birthdate is May, 9th 1978, and yes I expect presents from everyone reading this), I have a fair complexion that Asian women really adore, I have long eyelashes, I won a spelling bee in 6th Grade, I used to own a 89′ Ford Mustang GT, and I love Filipino food. I hope thats enough to get started. Wait, perhaps I should add that I almost tried out for the Oscar the Grouch position in 1997 but I never even applied or left my house, and I did think about co-starring on NYPD Blue but the same result happened.

Perhaps I will gain notoriety in my future then it will be automatic. I am curious to what the threshold of success is before you get a page. For instance is it 500 people know who you are? Is is your town, state, or region? Do myspace friends count? I mean damn it! Kevin Federline has a page. That does feel insulting. Whatever the case, I don’t think I am getting a fair shake. I’m just asking Wikipedia to think about it.